Raise your hand if you’re absolutely terrified of sharing your bigger brand message with the world? Or if you’re worried about negative comments or backlash for your opinion? Or if you fear what others will think or say when they encounter your website, blog posts or any other content you create?
Girl, I feel you!
I used to be super scared too. My insecurities would win out almost every time and it held me back…a lot! My fears of what others thought and my lack of confidence in my own story kept me playing small. It stopped me from living into my bigger brand vision and purpose in life.
The worst part?
It dimmed my light, my self-confidence and made me feel utterly powerless.
If you feel like this right now, then this article is for you.
Your Worst Nightmare: Trolls, Bullies and Public Humiliation
Let’s just put it out there: trolls, bullies and public humiliation are by far everyone’s worst fears when it comes to sharing your ideas or mission with the world.
I’m blaming puberty for this one because basically 7th and 8th grade were absolutely H-E-double-L for me (if you survived it without some sort of humiliation than I am literally in awe of you right now).
Psychologically this fear makes sense: being ostracized or shunned from the group is a primal fear.
Back in the day we wouldn’t survive without a tribe so being different wasn’t always a good thing. Fast forward to life post-industrialization and instead of saber tooth tigers we’ve now got faceless internet trolls out for our blood.
Isn’t it funny how one mean comment from someone we don’t know (and who really knows nothing about us) can derail our spirits so quickly?
Talk about a downward spiral of self-doubt and internal criticism!
So how do you confidently put yourself out there, internet trolls be damned?
Your Purpose Has to Be Greater Than the Perceived Pain
This is not a new concept but sometimes we need to hear it a few times (and a few different ways) for it to really sink in.
YOUR PURPOSE HAS TO BE GREATER THAN THE PERCEIVED PAIN.
What is perceived pain?
Take your pick!
Online bullying / verbal attacks
Being called dumb, crazy, extreme, hysterical…
Outgrowing friends or family members
Judgment by others (or yourself)
Being laughed at
Not being liked
Growing outside your comfort zone
The list goes on!
In the face of all these things, your purpose must be greater.
Then – AND ONLY THEN – can you move past the fears that are holding you back and shine your brilliance so bright, it attracts only your type of light seekers.
Is it easy?
Oh goddess, no!
It’s hard. So hard. But it’s worth it.
3 secrets to building confidence and sharing your message with more people
(1) ANCHOR INTO YOUR WHY
It’s easy to get derailed when there’s lots of external judgment being thrown your way. If you’re worried what people will think, if you’ll say something ‘stupid’ or secretly fear no one will care about you or your work, listen up!
You’ve got to anchor into your why.
Your why is bigger than anyone’s opinions. It’s bigger than their judgments, your fears and any negativity you think will come your way.
When you anchor into your why, you remind yourself that what you’re doing is bigger than YOU.
It’s bigger than the website, Facebook LIVE or the perfect Instagram layout.
Your why is the way in which you help people. It’s what you’re here to do or how you plan to be of service.
Start there and your confidence will most definitely build!
(2) REMIND YOURSELF YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS
I read this line in a Rachel Hollis book recently and loved it. Basically she told us (the readers) to say to ourselves each day, “I can do hard things!”
Which is brilliant because I’m sure each one of us can do hard things but we forget.
We forget what we’ve already overcome or conquered. We forget the blood, sweat and tears that got us to where we are today.
And we forget how bloody awesome we are!
So today, remind yourself that you can do hard things. And whatever it is that is holding you back from sharing your brilliance with the world is peanuts compared to the bigger chestnuts you’ve roasted in your lifetime.
(3) ACKNOWLEDGE THE DISCOMFORT AND DO IT ANYWAYS
Want to know what’s helped me push through the blocks over the years? It’s my go-to strategy for when I’m trying new things or growing outside my comfort zone.
Here it is…
I acknowledge the discomfort and do it anyways.
Is pressing ‘Go Live’ a terror-inducing moment for me? Yes.
Is my why bigger than a 5 minute video? YES.
It’s so easy to live inside the discomfort. To dwell in it and analyze it. To think about it or strategize it. But moving through it requires none of that. Moving through it requires ACTION.
So when I’m uncomfortable, nervous or just plain terrified, I take a deep breath and acknowledge the discomfort. Then I do the thing.
I build my confidence one action at a time. I do the thing that scares me, learn from it and try again. Then I do it again. And again. And again.